


Free Fall

by adiosnonino (chanporado)



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Denial, Introspection, M/M, vincent is a nerd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 19:49:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13887921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chanporado/pseuds/adiosnonino
Summary: The pull of Earth’s gravitational field is one of the strongest forces in the universe. It helps keep everything from flying off as it revolves around the sun. When an object is dropped in a vacuum, its average acceleration would be -9.8 m/s assuming that there is no air resistance. When dropped, it would continue to fall at constant speed until it hits the ground whatever its weight would be.Maybe that’s why falling in love hurt. There is no safety net to catch him unless he gets caught by the person he fell in love with. His heart would soar for the few seconds of fleeting happiness before it comes down crashing. That would explain why his chest would ache as if it jumped quads all day long. All these emotions condensed in one organ. No wonder some people died of broken heart.





	Free Fall

**Author's Note:**

> HA I BEAT @bucketfulloffandom IN WHO FINISHES THEIR FIC FIRST
> 
> scream at me on twitter @keijitanakas

Vincent likes knowing everything. It makes him feel confident enough to easily correct his mistakes. From the answers to his calculus homework to the distance travelled by Earth in light years to what he exactly needs to correct in order to fully rotate and land a jump. 

 

He likes being smart. He has a Presidential Merit to prove it.

 

What he doesn’t like is, he doesn’t really understand romantic feelings. He wrote about it once, attempting to capture the fleeting feelings of being in love. He fell in love once and that was with skating.

 

He doesn’t understand why he is in love either. Vincent tries to rationalize his feelings towards Nathan. From what he observed, they grew up together with the same kind of parents, had a pretty fair understanding of what is it like to be under spotlight at a young age, and the pressures of being one of the best. It could also be that he is a social recluse and he is mistaking these feelings for admiration.

 

In conclusion, it is most likely hormone-induced crush. There is no use of he continues chasing these feelings. Crushes are temporary and will eventually go away. Having found the logic behind these confusing emotions, he is pretty pleased himself. He is not one of them and he knows that. Emotions are quite powerful and can drive you to make irresponsible decisions. As he locked away the feelings, his life somehow felt emptier, much duller than what it was before. But he can easily fill it up with a couple of good memes he can find online.

 

That became his life. Alone with a couple of shitty memes and a lingering sense of disappointment.

* * *

 

“Hey Vince long time no see! Still writing in that diary of yours?” He rolled his eyes as he continued to jot down his thoughts “None of your business Nate. Plus you’d probably think its pretentious,”

 

“Pretentious? How am I even going to say that if I haven’t seen anything yet,” Nathan peered over Vincent’s shoulder, trying to see what he is writing. He hunched closer to his notebook to block the view “Fuck off Nate,” He hissed. He tried to swipe Vincent’s notebook but he was faster, pressing it close to his chest “I said fuck off Nathan everything is pretentious here,”

 

Much to his annoyance, Nathan moved closer and smirked at him “Ohhh… it looks like our baby is growing up,” he teased. Vincent tried to hit him but missed. Nathan started laughing at him, pinching his cheeks “You were so cute yesterday now you’re a handsome young man! Who is the lucky girl that stole Casablanca’s heart?” He cringed at the reference from his last year’s free skate. Nathan probably assumed there was one because he skipped out of the room, singing a really cheesy love song, making him cringe harder “SHUT UP CHEN THERE IS NOBODY!” He shouted at Nathan from the doorway. The older boy ignored him and started singing the stupid middle school song “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the golden carriage!” He sing-songed, turning around the corner. His cheeks flushed from embarrassment and he mumbled obscenities, shutting the door to his assigned room.

 

Its 2017 he should be allowed to write what he wants without anyone assuming he is in love. Nathan wouldn’t see his works that weren’t posted in his poetry account anyway.

 

Vincent stopped in his tracks. Why does he care that his best friend might see? Nathan is just another reader, probably an unenthusiastic one since he obviously doesn’t care for poetry. But whatever, it wasn’t the first time he cared about it anyway.

* * *

 

The new season was off to a somewhat disastrous start. Several diehard fans of his childhood hero were calling him a copycat with his Romeo and Juliet free program. He had to scrap it and with one day of choreography, they finally made something that was still similar in theme. All he had to do now is to debut it in Stars on Ice.

 

Whether the audience likes it or not, he doesn’t have much time to create yet another program. Vincent is not here to please the audience. He is here to begin his senior career and prove that he is a serious contender.

  
  


The program was debuted few weeks later. It was still very new to him and would take time until he can get into character. According to the movie, Christian is a poet and in love with the fiery Satine.

 

He can do the poet part, he himself being a poet. But the part where he is going to be in love with the imaginary Satine? Maybe. “You are still lacking something,” Jeff commented while they were watching one of his run throughs. He scratched his head, not sure on where he was lacking. It’s a new program and he knew there are a lot of things to improve. “So what am I lacking at? You know that I’m not really in love in someone,”

 

“it doesn’t have to be romantic Vincent. Think of how Satine could have inspired Christian.”

 

Vincent thought about it. He doesn’t really see the point of falling in love, having locked away those feelings long ago. His heart, however, was betraying him. It was threatening to burst with feelings that could probably put the great poets to shame. If he let a little of those out while skating, hopefully it would be convincing enough. “I guess so. Can we try again?”

 

“There that’s my boy. From the top I’d like to see if there was any improvements from you at all.”

 

There is. An unexplainable feeling of happiness coursed through his veins as he skated. It felt liberating, exhilarating. The kind of rush he often gets when hiking. When he finished performing, he felt like he was on the top of the world.

 

 

“Scientists say that when you are in love, your brain releases hormones such as oxytocin, dopamine, vasopressin, and many more. One of these hormones, dopamine, is responsible for why you are so happy around your crush,” Karen was with them today and he was trying to explain what he looked up a night ago, “because your brain craves dopamine, you would do anything just to see your crush and you look like you’re so high on weed,” She fondly shook her head at him as they skated alongside each other “Jeez Vincent stop being a nerd for a second not everyone has a GPA like yours,”

 

“Come on it’s either that or me explaining it with shitty memes,”

 

Karen playfully hit his shoulder as a couple of novices passed by “Language Zhou there are children around,” she scolded. He smiled cheekily and did a peace sign “Sorry Miss Karen.”

 

As they went through practice, he often wondered what if he is not really in love at all and everything is just a product of his brain wanting more of the good feeling. It can be easily gotten through other things like, memes.

 

However, his heart said otherwise. Something like a little seed was planted and the tiny leaves made its way out of the soil. It was a funny feeling, his chest simultaneously feeling free and constricted. Sometimes he feels the urge to write down his feelings just because.

 

Vincent Zhou is not your average teenager. He held the record for highest free skate and combined total among junior men at 16, had numerous academic awards that were as far up as getting a Presidential Award for Academic Excellence, and started landing quads at the age of 15. His future is looking to be a very bright one and he came to prove everyone that is he to be taken seriously.

 

The Olympics is coming closer. His desire to prove that he was not a disappointment is getting stronger. He can almost taste it. To have a moment that he can forever hold in his heart.

* * *

 

Fourth in his senior Grand Prix debut. It was acceptable, since he just debuted and he still has one more competition to go.

 

Ninth. It was so shameful he had to apologize to everyone. He finally understood what overambition can do to you. His Olympic dream was suddenly further away. Vincent had to work harder since it appears that USFSA is beginning to change their minds.

  
  


In between France and Nationals, he threw himself in training with a new resolve to skate smarter. He wanted to be better, stronger, and wiser than he was before. His Grand Prix performance may have held his track record back but he also knew that if he performed well in the Nationals, the federation has no choice but to send him.

 

He wanted his redemption. He wanted to have his moment. He wanted to prove that his mother’s sacrifices weren’t for nothing. When he dislocated his shoulder just a week before Nationals, everything became a matter of question.

 

Will he succeed? Or will he fail and be sent to Four Continents while whoever took the spot he badly wanted is having their Olympic moment? There is always Beijing but he wanted to go to  _ four  _ Olympics before 30. 

 

Ambitious but he expected nothing less than that.

 

_ Nathan: hey man r u alright? _

_ : im fine dude _

_ : see u in san jose _

 

See you in San Jose. And hopefully, Pyeongchang. He smiled when he received a reply from Nathan.

 

_ Nathan: get better soon first nerd _

* * *

 

The pull of Earth’s gravitational field is one of the strongest forces in the universe. It helps keep everything from flying off as it revolves around the sun. When an object is dropped in a vacuum, its average acceleration would be -9.8 m/s assuming that there is no air resistance. When dropped, it would continue to fall at constant speed until it hits the ground whatever its weight would be.

 

Maybe that’s why falling in love hurt. There is no safety net to catch him unless he gets caught by the person he fell in love with. His heart would soar for the few seconds of fleeting happiness before it comes down crashing. That would explain why his chest would ache as if it jumped quads all day long. All these emotions condensed in one organ. No wonder some people died of broken heart.

 

He fell in love but not in the way movies and books showed him. He didn’t realize it at all until he found himself wide awake at 1am, itching to write something down.

 

He soared. He flew. He was fearless and had the power to do anything. Even if this some sort of a really cheesy fantasy of his would come to an end, he would always relish in the memories of first love.

US Nationals came too soon. It was the final block between him and his goal. He is determined to make good of the promise to himself that he and Nathan will meet both in San Jose and Pyeongchang. The mere minutes of skating a program could change his life forever.

 

His light dimmed in the short program, leaving him the first to skate in the final group. With Nathan on the top and four people in between them, he wasn’t sure if he could make it.

 

His free program, the one he had grown to love and turned into a part of himself, deserved to be shown to the whole world. He wanted everyone to see that he was skating for someone. While Romeo was replaced by Christian, it was still the story about love. His love. The one he would climb on the top of mountain for just to shout it.

 

Vincent hoped that his muse is watching somewhere in the backstage. This is his masterpiece, a product of his hardwork, the support from his team, and his love. Every element was an “I love you”

 

“I love you” He thought as the emotions came down crashing.

 

_ I love you. I love him. _

 

_ I love him so much.  _

 

_ Nathan: VINCENT DID YOU MAKE IT _

_ Nathan: TELL ME IF YOU MADE IT _

_ Nathan: OR ELSE I’LL FIGHT USFSA _

_ : calm the fuck down dude _

_ : i got it _

* * *

 

Vincent can describe this feeling in many words. He would write pages and pages about it. He was like a schoolgirl with a crush, doodling hearts all over her notes. Except that he is not a schoolgirl and was writing poetry instead. As he looked at the Olympic village from his window, he felt pretty pleased with himself. Writing down few more lines, he heard Nathan call him outside his room “Wait I’m finishing!” he shouted

 

“Faster nerd or else there won’t be any left for you!” Closing the notebook shut, he stuffed it underneath his pillow before opening the door. Nathan is already grumpy from hunger and dragged Vincent to join them at the cafeteria.

 

It was a blessing but also a curse. It was both the greatest and the worst feeling in the world. Tomorrow, he leaves the village with memories. Squeezing his hand tighter, they made their way to the cafeteria to join the team dinner.

**Author's Note:**

> feedbacks are appreciated


End file.
